All about cats

By: guest author, Thea

1) cats like ice cubes but dont like beer

2) cats like iced coffee

3) cats tell their hoomans when there is a stranger in the house. Its up to the hoomans to listen

4) to fix a cats attitude problem, just hold them in a sink of water until they stop resisting

5) he loves under the bed

6) fight n bite

7) he likes opening cabinets

8) he quacks

9) when he is looking out the window at birds

10) he is trans-ginger

11) he has a empty expression on his face

Role Playing Scenarios

By Greg Tuttle and Lisa Grab

1) Explaining to a neighbor that you ran over their cat
2) the process for genetically modified food to be created, protested, and approved by the FDA (3 groups)
3) explaining to a night companion that you may have peed the bed the night before
4) wedding proposals: 2 stacks of cards, 1 stack for objects that need to be used as part of the proposal, the second stack of nonromantic locations.
5) making up excuses: you crashed a friend's vehical into a fruit truck and you have to come up with an excuse as to why it happened.
6) explaining to an uncle why you and a cousin are together.... Familiarly
7) cover-up campaign for a business to a news reporter
8) trying to buy contraband in an unfamiliar location, and the seller is an undercover cop

Stuf We've Laerned Over The Past Year (and it cant be anything we learned in school, not that we've learned anything in school)

1) All landlords are liars
2) Cats dont like it when you throw them up in the air
3) Foxes are clever and bulletproof
4) You can wash dishes with shampoo (optional: in the shower)
5) Making iced coffee with coffee ice cubes makes your coffee stronger
6) 3-year-old lipton tea tastes like clean pondwater
7) There are three types of sewage treatment plants. The first type is old school and basically just sorts out the solids and then dumps the rest in the river. What do they do with all the solids? Good questions. I think they collect it and put it in a landfill. The second and third types are more modern and use chemicals to treat the water. The third types uses more chemicals.
8) The less seriously you take a job, the more you will succeed.
9) People with nut allergies are actually not that concerned about their allergies.
10) If you say it with a straight enough face, people will believe anything.
11) If someone disagrees with you, don't freak out. And then you can change their mind.
12) Every kitchen is like this: if one makes a mess in food service, and no one is looking, one can put everything back and not waste any food. It doesnt matter if it mixes together, just do the best you can to make it presentable.
13) You can fish for shrimp with a spoon, string, and cone-shaped shell.

Results From Our Pizza Poll!

So our most popular pizza toppings were sauce and zater! No one liked salt! Stay tuned for our next poll!

The Real List from the Old Canal Inn

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The Real List from the Old Canal Inn
By: Greg, Lisa, and Maf

1. Onion rings

2. Beer Float (with ice cream)

3. Shock top Shots

4. Grover

5. Camel Soup

6. "Spaghetti O's" homemade with macaroni quotes

7. Pop rocks (with a shot of pop rocks) chased with a shot of vodka. AKA Pop Rocks Challenge!!!

8. Baseball Soup

9. Fried Potatoe Challenge:
     Step 1: 3 shots of grease used to make French fries
     Step 2: 2 shots of carrot juice
     Step 3: 1 shots of Fermented potatoe juice
     Step 4: 100 French Fries (3" or longer)

10. Shots of chopped lettuce

11. Lemon squares

"Education is not complete unless it is built on character."

-Father Flanagan

"Each student is a better student for every problem he masters." 

-Father Flanagan

The Gregory School

Greg opened his own school in West Orange. It is also on the street that he owns called Gregory Street. 

Places We Want to Sleep

1) Deer stand at Lisa's house.
2) Chicken coop.
3) The roof of University Hall.
4) On the roof of Grover's house.
5) In a tent next to Bob (no matter what he's doing, we can burn incense).
6) In a bed of ferns.
7) As far away as possible from guinea hens (calculated by finding all Guinea Hens in the world and finding the furthest spot in miles).
8) In a vegetable garden specifically with onions, tomatoes, and potatoes.
9) Under the boardwalk.
10) On top of a HUGE pile of pillow pets.