Pencils versus Pens
Waffles versus Pancakes
French Toast versus Whoever Wins between Waffles and Pancakes
Towels versus Paper Towels
Boxers versus Briefs
Bananas versus Plantains
Paper versus Cardboard
Ice Cream versus Regular Cream
Pipes versus Bingers
Tables versus Chairs
Tables versus Much Smaller but More Portable perhaps Folding Tables
Chairs versus Couches
Couches versus Benches
Swords versus Knives
Lawnmowers versus Weedwackers
Plants versus Mushrooms
Books versus Records
Cuts versus Scrapes
Leather versus Pleather
Toothbrushes versus Floss
Broccoli versus Cauliflower
Lychees versus Kumquats
Rugs versus Carpet
Baskets versus Bowls
Plates versus Saucers
Glue versus Tape
Knives versus Forks (spoons are neutral)
Grass versus Blacktop
Wheels versus Legs
Sandals versus Flipflops
Blankets versus Sheets
Mirrors versus Walls
Paintings versus Drawings
TVs versus Radios
Tapes versus CDs
Animals versus People
Things versus Ideas
Oatmeal versus Wheat Farina
Water versus Juice versus Milk versus Soda
Faucets versus Terlets
Paint versus Wallpaper
Tile versus Linoleum
Plants (in pots) versus tchotchkes
Many Small Guns versus One Big Gun
Potatoes versus Sweet Potatoes
Yams versus Squash
Pants versus Shorts
Socks versus Bare feet
Drapes versus Shutters
Hats versus Turbans (including the military kind)
Cars versus Trucks
Shoes versus Boots
Napkins versus Tissues
Garages versus Sheds
Security Guards versus Night Watchmen
Butter versus Margarine
Strawberries Versus Blueberries
Containers versus Plastic Bags
Bins versus Tubs
Bathtubs versus Shower Stalls
Leaves versus Pine Needles
Acorns versus Pinecones
Trees versus Bushes
Antennae versus Satellite Dishes
Nuts versus Legumes
Pie versus Cake
Water versus Seltzer
Rain versus Snow
Magazines versus Short Books
Tape versus Glue
Movies versus TV Shows
Pants versus Slacks versus Trousers versus Pantaloons
French Fries versus Tater Tots
Gargling versus Spitting
Oil versus Vinegar
Paper versus Plastic
Kids Named Ryan versus Kids Named Brian
Arts versus Sciences
Cups versus Saucers
Posters versus Framed Pictures
Boxes versus Bags
Buckets versus Bags
Beetles versus Flies
Alkaline versus Acidic
Dumbasses versus Idiots
Packages versus Parcels
Bicycles versus Scooters
Emails versus Handwritten Notes
Chandeliers versus Recessed Lighting
Cherries versus Cherry Tomatoes
Photographs versus Paintings
Placemats versus Doilies
Ceiling Fans versus Regular Fans
Sports versus Leisure Activities
Mailboxes on the Sidewalk versus Mailboxes Outside Your House
Orange Cones versus Roadflares
Puppies versus Kittens
Wired Electronics versus Wireless Electronics
Bastards versus Dickheads
Recording versus Listening
Belts versus Elastic
Zippers versus Velcro
Apples versus Oranges
Karate versus Tae Kwon Do
Chickens versus Turkeys
Clowns versus Mimes
Poetry versus Prose
Tropics versus Tundra
Dictionaries versus Encyclopedias
School versus Work
Rulers versus Protractors
Staples versus Paperclips
Trains versus Planes
Needles versus Pins
Treble versus Bass
Exits versus Entrances
Statues versus Sculptures
Stairs versus Ladders versus Elevators versus Escalators
Insults versus Put-Downs
Roads/Streets versus Sidewalks
Cities versus Towns
Guitars versus Basses
Thought versus Action
Rocks/Stones versus Soft Things
Sponges versus Rags
Saws versus Axes
Soap versus Just Water
Candles versus Flashlights
Punches versus Kicks
Now versus Like Five Minutes From Now (I don't think we need to worry about five minutes ago, since it's in the past)
Tools versus Weapons
Clamps versus Strong Rubber Bands
