Results From Our Pizza Poll!

So our most popular pizza toppings were sauce and zater! No one liked salt! Stay tuned for our next poll!

The Real List from the Old Canal Inn

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The Real List from the Old Canal Inn
By: Greg, Lisa, and Maf

1. Onion rings

2. Beer Float (with ice cream)

3. Shock top Shots

4. Grover

5. Camel Soup

6. "Spaghetti O's" homemade with macaroni quotes

7. Pop rocks (with a shot of pop rocks) chased with a shot of vodka. AKA Pop Rocks Challenge!!!

8. Baseball Soup

9. Fried Potatoe Challenge:
     Step 1: 3 shots of grease used to make French fries
     Step 2: 2 shots of carrot juice
     Step 3: 1 shots of Fermented potatoe juice
     Step 4: 100 French Fries (3" or longer)

10. Shots of chopped lettuce

11. Lemon squares

"Education is not complete unless it is built on character."

-Father Flanagan

"Each student is a better student for every problem he masters." 

-Father Flanagan

The Gregory School

Greg opened his own school in West Orange. It is also on the street that he owns called Gregory Street. 

Places We Want to Sleep

1) Deer stand at Lisa's house.
2) Chicken coop.
3) The roof of University Hall.
4) On the roof of Grover's house.
5) In a tent next to Bob (no matter what he's doing, we can burn incense).
6) In a bed of ferns.
7) As far away as possible from guinea hens (calculated by finding all Guinea Hens in the world and finding the furthest spot in miles).
8) In a vegetable garden specifically with onions, tomatoes, and potatoes.
9) Under the boardwalk.
10) On top of a HUGE pile of pillow pets.

All About Thea Stelzle

All About Thea Stelzle
By Lisa and Greg

Thea loves to eat pickles from quick check. She is a communist. She likes to clean the loose change off of Justin's floor. Thea is terrified of knives because Justin chases her around with one. She likes cold brewed iced tea. She likes to wear pajama pants. Thea fights people on the internet; and then she meets them in person and they are really nice to each other (not the youtube people). She likes out decked out in USSR great at Nasha Rasha, a Soviet bar in Manhattan. Thea is studying education, but does not want to teach in the US. Her favorite books are by bell hooks, Lenin, and Dorothy. She hates The Wizard of Oz and Mother Do You Love Me?

All About Lisa Grab

All About Lisa Grab

By Greg Tuttle

Lisa wishes that a pill was made for men so they can feel menstrual cycles. She washes her dishes with tea. Lisa has a miniature electronic kitchen in her room. She also goes for a few days without pooping. Lisa spends a significant part of her day reading; she has a keen eye for feminism and exploitation. Lisa makes a lot of dishes on her sandwich grill. She eats a lot of banana peels. Lisa loves to climb trees and spend time in Pennsylvania with her family. Lisa plays brain games on her ipad throughout the day.

All About Greg Tuttle

All About Greg Tuttle

By Lisa Grab

Greg is not sure how many times a day he poops, but it is at least once a day. He likes to leave open containers of water in his room. He wears very plain clothing and has a beard that he thinks is unkempt. He likes music with political meanings and corporate radio. He likes to run. He wants to grow organic vegetables. He studies history and thinks he wants to teach. He likes to read Lenin, Marx, and Freire. He would rather sleep on a foam mat than a regular bed. 25% of his room is taken up by a huge table.  Greg avoids romantic relationships but is attracted to people with opposing ideologies. 

Quote Time with Greg Tuttle

"Teach our kids to be subversive because we are working within a framework that does not recognize their value"                                                        

                                                                                       

- Greg Tuttle                                                                

                                 (Scholarly Greg)

Bugs

I. Bugs We Wouldn't Eat Under Any Circumstance

by: Greg, Lisa, Justin

1. German Cockroaches (Nazis)
2. Bombadeer Beatles
3. Spider
4. Lisa wont eat caterpillars, Justin will
5. Wasps, but we'd eat bees
6. Mosquitos
7. Stink bugs
8. Queen termites
9. Bullet ants
10. Flesh eating ants (Army ants)
11. Centipede
12. praying mantas (for religious reasons)

II. Buts We Can Eat

by: Greg, Lisa, Justin

1. Tiny baby spiders
2. Cicadas
3. Millipede
4. Grub
5. Ants (Ant Liberation Army)
6. grass hoppers
7. butter flies
8. moths (mothball soup)
9. Bumble bees with honey salad
10. Crickets
11. Small horseflies (only Lisa)

Afterword from Lisa's dad:

Worms. They should have a lot of protein and stuff. They are all muscle and are supposed to be really strong.

Traps You Can Set For Your Landlord

1) Bear trap under the rug

2) Two sided tape on every surface (sacrifice we have to make)

3) Push him into a giant pillow outside house

4) Pale of red paint at top of door

5) If he opens the refrigerator.... 

6) Olive oil on stairs and floor (we can ice skate in crocs)

7) Poop in the top of toilets (also known as an upper-decker)*

8) Ducks in the basement and layer the basement floor with panera** bread

9) Put conflicting one-way street signs on his street









*Lisa took no part in this number
**panera is purposely lowercase because we do not support the evil Panera corp.  

Prank List for Tent State

1) Mass line: disaster in kitchen
   Party line: bring food in 10 minutes

2) Mass line: monster outside
     Party line: funny noises

3) Pretend to be high/ pretend bad trip

4) Pretend to be sober

5) Mass line: event in UHall 3011
    Party line: no event or YAL event

6) Set up in Mallory hall

7) Try to have the same conversation word for word with two different people (Daily Challenge)

8) Filibuster your own workshop.

9) Offer raw rice, oatmeal, or stuffing as a snack and eat a dry handful or two.

10) Pretend to relieve ourselves in bathroom and use bushes
                          or
       Pretend to relieve ourselves in bushes and use bathroom

11) Get matching one-piece suits

List of Free Things at Tent State*

·         Free healthcare

·         Free housing

·         Free fun

·         Free entertainment

·         Free education

·         Free food and drinks

·         Free games

·         Free music

·         Free candy (left over from hiking)

·         Free things that are bad with cottage cheese

·         Free literature

·         Free interesting people to meet

·         Free conversations

·         Free answers

·         Free problems

·         Free quests

·         Free mindedness

·         Free markets :(

·         Free tuition

·         Free bricks

·         Free political prisoners

·         Free tang

·         Free advice

·         Free counseling

·         Free art

·         Free professors

·         Free water

·         free air

·         free sex offered by the male prostitute committee

·         free wifi

·         free coffee

·         free tea

·         free rice pudding

·         free bagels

·         free panera (lowercase on purpose because Panera Corporation is horrible)


---------Created by Lisa, Greg, and Thea


*Tent State is an annual week long demonstration organized by students to offer an alternative society where education, communication, and propertyless relations are it's center pieces. 

The Greg of Liberty

Model: Greg Tuttle
Photographer: Lisa Grab

Foods Not Good With Cottage Cheese (Universal)

Foods Not Good With Cottage Cheese

By: Greg & Lisa

1. Chocolate

2. Bacon (unless you like Butterfingers)

3. Pineapple

4. Blue Cheese

5. Mustard

6. Lemonade

7. Guiness Beer

8. Turtle (or fish, in general. One exception is canned mackerel fried with onions)

9. Hotdogs

10. Garlic & Asparagus

11. Cheese Steak

12. Peanut Butter

13. Cereal

Backpacking Candy List (Universal)

By Greg and Lisa

1. Listerine Strips (use when hot)

2. York Mint Patties (daily reward)

3. Snickers (twice-a-day reward)

4. Starburst Jelly Beans

5. Pop Rocks - for hydration (always)

6. Twizzlers

7. Salt Tablets - for survival (eat by the handful)

8. Adam's Chocolate Covered Nuts

9. Jellyfish (gummy bears)

10. Air Heads

11. Bubblicious & Bubble Tape at the Same Time

12. Cookies'n'Creme Hershey Bar (used for facials or making smores)

13. Yogurt Covered Pretzels

Giant Stuffed Animals That Haven't Been Invented Yet (Universal)

By Greg, Lisa, Maf

We want these stuffed animals to be huge, approximately the size of people or bigger. 

1. Canadian Goose

2. Opossum

3. Mole

4. Duck

5. Groundhog

6. Pot Bellied Pig

7. Manatee

8. Blowfish

9. Earthworm (texturized accordingly)

10. Cockroach

11. Clam (inside included)

12. Squirrel

13. Vulture

14. Seagull

15. Pigeon

16. Komodo Dragon

17. Land Turtles

18. Galapagos Turtles

19. Wooly Bears